Happy Birthday to Us!

A couple of weeks ago we celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. Since it fell on a Saturday, I think it may have been the first year we went out on our actual anniversary. We took out our bikes that we got for my birthday for the first time. We don't have bike trailers yet to take the kids with us, so it takes the stars aligning to be able to go on a ride. But it was so fun. On the way back we went to Applebees. Actually, we got Applebees take out and then went home and ate it in a completely silent house. We laughed about how we're getting so old. Sitting in a noisy restaurant on a Saturday night having to be interrupted by a server every 10 minutes sounds like zero fun anymore. The silence was beautiful. We picked up the kids, got them home and to bed and then, as usual, couldn't make it though a 30 minute TV program without one of us falling asleep. Not the most exciting, romantic date anyone ever had, but it was what we needed. I completely owe my 5 years of marriage to regular date nights. I go more than a couple of weeks without a few of hours of quiet to talk to my husband and I'm about ready to throw in the towel. Just kidding...sort of.

Sunday was a wonderful day. We got home from church, got Ben down for a nap and then worked on getting ready for our family birthday party. We tried our hand at Brazilian cooking since we weren't in Salt Lake to go to our traditional anniversary dinner at Rodizio Grill. It was pretty delicious.

This one came out blurry, but I love Devan's laugh so much. And I love Josh looking up at him in the background. Hannah took this picture.

And she took this one. Pictures of Mom and Dad together are hard to come by these days.

As usual, Hannah stayed at the table for a very short time and then was off to play. She found my roller blades and came back saying, "Look Mom! I can skate now that I'm 4!"

She spent the next hour and a half skating between the living room and her bedroom. She went from barely being able to stand up in them to being able to skate anywhere with carpet. She's been keeping very entertained with those skates for the last couple of days when it's been raining outside.

During dinner, Ben learned how to smile and say cheese when his picture was being taken. We practiced a lot.

Josh tried beans and rice. He didn't love it, but he was a good sport.  

We played for a while after dinner, then got in our pajamas and had our birthday cake.

Hannah wanted to do a silly face first. Look at how wet her hair is. That's sweat from skating so much!

First-time-Mom Alex would have smacked me in the face, but I gave Josh some cake. He got a couple of licks of frosting of my finger, which he loved, then I gave him a little bit of the cake part. He didn't like that very much. He really doesn't like any food except for rice cereal. He won't even eat pureed fruits and vegetables unless they're mixed with cereal.

Mom went crazy and even let the kids have seconds on dessert.

Hannah wanted me to take her picture with Joshua and then at the last minute they both looked away. That's just a wall off to their left, so I don't know what they were looking at, but it made me laugh.

Trying to get a picture of all 3 kids is always a challenge, but I like all of these, even though none of them are perfect.

What a lovely 5 years it has been. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one thinking it, but being married is hard! It's hard to consistently put another adult's needs in front of your own. It's hard choose to love someone even when you're feeling tired or lazy or selfish. I feel like Devan does a better job of pushing through these human inclinations than I do, but I'm working on it.

I feel like these 5 years have been so intense with so many pregnancies and so many babies in such a short amount of time. I feel like I'm always being pulled in so many directions that it's hard to give my marriage the time and attention that it needs. I feel like I live my life for those 20 minutes we have together after the kids go to bed before one or both of us pass out from exhaustion. Sometimes I feel like I live a very small life and I'm embarrassed that I haven't seen more or done more. But then we have days like this, when I realize that we are so blessed.

I realize that the years are flying past and we will look back at this time as being so sweet and so simple. I'm pretty sure that life only gets harder the longer you live it. The good news is, I'm also pretty sure that we'll grow stronger together to bear whatever comes our way. Someday we will sleep through the night again. Someday we'll be able to get through a conversation without interruption. Someday I'll find something new to whine about. But for now, I'm glad that I'm the person that Devan Steele chose to spend his life and eternity with. Even when it's hard, he's the person I most enjoy spending time with in the entire world. I know that he puts my happiness above everything else in his life and I'm trying to do the same. I fall so, so short, but I'm trying.

Happy Birthday to us!